It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
