woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
