Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
