Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I fill condoms, not promises.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
