I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
