I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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