guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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