The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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