Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
