That's intense
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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