Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is Oprah even human
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize