Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
