you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
