Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
