We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize