My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
