I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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