Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize