Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Send help, water and tortillas.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
