you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
