toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i will never coherently bang her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
