we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
