Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
