this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
