Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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