So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
