Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
