i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
