Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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