That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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