Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
