I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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