I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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