he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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