I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize