arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
