It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Enjoy the penises
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
