in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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