do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
