I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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