Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
