haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
