Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Randomize
