he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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