He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
