he told me I talked like a deaf person
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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