I must be too annoying 4 u.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
