that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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