States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize