That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
