yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
