if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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