my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
