after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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