I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
