You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
