Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
