Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
