Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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