arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
