sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
