he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
