Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
