It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize