ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize